2. A real man doesn't dot his lowercase Is and Js with hearts.
3. A real man doesn't have limp wrists that flail all over the place.
4. If a real man breaks a nail, it's not because they were long.
5. A real man knows how to throw a ball. A sissy also knows how to throw a ball, but it involves dancing.
6. A real man hates to be embarrassed, particularly on matters concerning the status of his masculinity. Whereas a sissy craves humiliation, particularly on matters concerning her lack of masculinity.
7. A real man doesn't pronounce the word "sissy" like "thithy."
8. When a real man walks, he doesn't sway his hips back and forth while taking little, mincing steps. Nor are his wrists limp.
9. A real man does not have a "dildo collection."
10. When a real man puts his hands on his hips, they are not put high on his hips with his hands turned upside down and his elbows back.
11. A real man isn't bothered by the hair on his body.
12. A real man doesn't daydream about his wedding day, with himself in a white bridal gown.
13. If a real man smokes cigarettes, they are not 120s.
14. A real man does not enjoy the flavor of semen.
15. A real man doesn't wear panties.
16. A real man doesn't have a ton of shoes, all of them women's.
17. If a real man smokes cigarettes, he doesn't keep his pack in a little cigarette purset. Especially not a pink one.
18. A real man doesn't believe the old wives' tale that semen is good for moisturizing his face.
19. A real man does not have an alternate "girl's name."
20. A real man does not enjoy having a penis in his rectum.
21. A real man would not like to have a career as a coiffeuse.
22. A real man doesn't have a subscription to Playgirl magazine.
23. A real man does not refer to his anus and rectum as his "boy-pussy."
24. When a real man speaks, he does not worry about whether his voice is "too deep."
25. A real man does not ask for directions. Whereas a sissy wants to be under someone's direction.
26. A real man does not have a Barbie screensaver.
27. A real man does not own a purse, of which he carries on his shoulder whenever he goes out.
28. A real man does not refer to his mouth as a "cock-holster."
29. A real man does not own a ton of nail polish. In fact, he owns none.
30. When a real man leaves home, he does not take with him a 4 oz. tube of K-Y Jelly, just in case he "gets lucky" and might need it. He especially does not carry it in his purse.
31. The color of a real man's toothbrush is not pink.
32. A real man does not read romance novels. Especially not ones from Harlequin.
33. A real man does not yearningly daydream about big, hard, throbbing, veiny penises ejaculating huge jets of thick semen. Especially not if said semen is directed at him.
34. Out of a list of a real man's favorite songs, one of them is not "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper.
35. A real man does not have a Barbie poster on his bedroom wall.
36. A real man does not own any Barbie dolls.
37. A real man does't own a Disney Princess calendar.
38. A real man does not have a subcription to Cosmopolitan magazine.
39. A real man's favorite color is not pink.
40. A real man doesn't daydream about his wedding night, wherein he's wearing nothing but white stockings, a garter belt, a leg garter, high heel sandals, and a bridal veil as his studly husband makes him feel like the woman he's always dreamed of being.