Monday, April 28, 2008

Real Man vs. A Sissy

Jamie Michelle at Sissy School has a wonderful list of "Real Man vs. Sissy"

1. A real man stands to pee. A sissy sits to pee like a girl--and wipes afterwards.

2. A real man doesn't dot his lowercase Is and Js with hearts.

3. A real man doesn't have limp wrists that flail all over the place.

4. If a real man breaks a nail, it's not because they were long.

5. A real man knows how to throw a ball. A sissy also knows how to throw a ball, but it involves dancing.

6. A real man hates to be embarrassed, particularly on matters concerning the status of his masculinity. Whereas a sissy craves humiliation, particularly on matters concerning her lack of masculinity.

7. A real man doesn't pronounce the word "sissy" like "thithy."

8. When a real man walks, he doesn't sway his hips back and forth while taking little, mincing steps. Nor are his wrists limp.

9. A real man does not have a "dildo collection."

10. When a real man puts his hands on his hips, they are not put high on his hips with his hands turned upside down and his elbows back.

11. A real man isn't bothered by the hair on his body.

12. A real man doesn't daydream about his wedding day, with himself in a white bridal gown.

13. If a real man smokes cigarettes, they are not 120s.

14. A real man does not enjoy the flavor of semen.

15. A real man doesn't wear panties.

16. A real man doesn't have a ton of shoes, all of them women's.

17. If a real man smokes cigarettes, he doesn't keep his pack in a little cigarette purset. Especially not a pink one.

18. A real man doesn't believe the old wives' tale that semen is good for moisturizing his face.

19. A real man does not have an alternate "girl's name."

20. A real man does not enjoy having a penis in his rectum.

21. A real man would not like to have a career as a coiffeuse.

22. A real man doesn't have a subscription to Playgirl magazine.

23. A real man does not refer to his anus and rectum as his "boy-pussy."

24. When a real man speaks, he does not worry about whether his voice is "too deep."

25. A real man does not ask for directions. Whereas a sissy wants to be under someone's direction.

26. A real man does not have a Barbie screensaver.

27. A real man does not own a purse, of which he carries on his shoulder whenever he goes out.

28. A real man does not refer to his mouth as a "cock-holster."

29. A real man does not own a ton of nail polish. In fact, he owns none.

30. When a real man leaves home, he does not take with him a 4 oz. tube of K-Y Jelly, just in case he "gets lucky" and might need it. He especially does not carry it in his purse.

31. The color of a real man's toothbrush is not pink.

32. A real man does not read romance novels. Especially not ones from Harlequin.

33. A real man does not yearningly daydream about big, hard, throbbing, veiny penises ejaculating huge jets of thick semen. Especially not if said semen is directed at him.

34. Out of a list of a real man's favorite songs, one of them is not "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper.

35. A real man does not have a Barbie poster on his bedroom wall.

36. A real man does not own any Barbie dolls.

37. A real man does't own a Disney Princess calendar.

38. A real man does not have a subcription to Cosmopolitan magazine.

39. A real man's favorite color is not pink.

40. A real man doesn't daydream about his wedding night, wherein he's wearing nothing but white stockings, a garter belt, a leg garter, high heel sandals, and a bridal veil as his studly husband makes him feel like the woman he's always dreamed of being.


2 comments:

Jamie Michelle said...

Hi, Lizabeth. When one posts another person's writings it's good practice to credit the author while noting any changes one makes to the text. The text in your above post was written by me. Below is located my post wherein I wrote the aforementioned:

"Re: sissies and "Real men" compared?," Jamie Michelle, Dec 16, 2006 5:25 pm http://getgirlie.com/sissyforum/viewtopic.php?t=4821

I see you also liked another one of my writings and posted it without attribution in "Cock Rider," June 25, 2008 http://sissycockmilker.blogspot.com/2008/02/sissy-fuck.html . Below is my post wherein I authored that:

"Cock-Rider," Jamie Michelle, Apr 12, 2006 5:26 am http://getgirlie.com/sissyforum/viewtopic.php?t=3866&start=15

jusme said...

Liz, what if I fall under a few of the above but not the majority?